yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
