some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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