i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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