I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
