do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
