I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
