Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
