How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
