I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
