What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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