i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
