Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
