We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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