He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
