I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
