If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
