Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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