He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
