this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
