I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
