I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
love makes seman taste better
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
