thus making me awesome and them whores
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
