He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
