You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
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