yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
