You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
