Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize