fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize