ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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