i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
