He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
