I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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