I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
