u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
