i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
