I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize