So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
