If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
