Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I am mentally ready for anal.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
