She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
high people should be assigned attendants
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
