i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
