my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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