i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
