like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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