So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
