so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
