dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
