I feel great
I just peed on a car
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize