I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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