i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
