Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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