When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
