Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
