Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize