The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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