I hope mine doesn't look like that
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
