Swine flu. Run for my life!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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