The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
