My balls are so social today.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
