And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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