Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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