I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
