My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
