mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
