420 ftw
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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