Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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