I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
