Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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