Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I love having hate sex.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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