So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I love you. Go after that dick
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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