I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
