We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
