Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
