the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
