that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
