i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
