woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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