the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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