She's JV to your varsity
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
