I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
